Something's in the air!?

I'm scarred. I don't even know why. I just have this strange urge to cry.
I wanna start over, start a new life somewhere else.

I've been thinking about my dad alot lately. I really miss him. So.. I haven't seen him for a year and 18 days. This is stupid but Christmas I was so excited because he was supposed to call but he didn't and at first I was like "whatever, no big deal", but than my brother told me my dad called him and that really hurt. He hasn't called me since, the last time I talked to him was November.
I wish he never moved. Sometimes, when I'm bored I got to call my dad to come get me, but than I remember he's in texas, and I start to hate him for leaving me like he did. My dad was like the only person who actually understood me. I miss him!
My mom thinks that I don't care, like it didn't affect me at all. Oh, but trust me it does. It's like what happened when my parents got divorced. I would cry myself to sleep everynight for years. Well, it's happening again. I don't even know why I'm writing this on here. Although, it does feel good to just get it all out.

Another thing that really gets to me is when pretty people say there ugly when they honestly know there not, or even worse when thin people say there fat. It's like "Well, if yer fat than what the hell am I?"

It's eleven pm. I need to go to sleep but I can't I wanna keep writing, but I know if I do I'll regret it in the morning. I hate waking up at 5:30 to get ready and still look like crap. Then spend 6 lovely hours in a hell they call high school. I have no patience for that school or anyone in it anymore. Luckily tomarrow I have double biology, so I could relax and maybe study a little for midterms?
Speaking of midterms.. I'm going to fail those. I'm 100% sure about that.
Hey, technically it's not eleven et it's ten fifty-five. So I have five more minutes to write something.

I've been feeling really sick lately. I get really dizzy and I shake alot, my fingers get realy cold, but the rest of my body is burning up. I feel like i'm gonna get sick and my head is throbbing. It's probably just a cold or something, but it's been like this for two weeks. Except today it was really bad. When ever I started walking I could barely even see straight. Then I had to attempt to play volleyball in gym. Yeah, that didn't go so well.

I'm almost sixteen, that means I get my permit soon. My mom said I could when we get back from Florida, but she said if I get my permit than I have to get a job. So, I'm not to excited about that.

One last thing, I wanna get married. I wanna fall in love get married and live happily ever after with my husband. I WANNA FALL IN LOVE!
To bad it doesn't exist. |: